Monday, May 25, 2009

Funny Questions About Life - Part 3

 Wall street. The auto industry. Big banks. These are just a few things NOT discussed in my latest addition of Funny Questions About Life - Part 3. In fact, I feel it’s my duty to ignore these serious questions of life. I’d rather ponder life’s unanswerable funny questions. So... let’s hit it!

Funny Questions - Group 1:

They make bullet proof vests, why not bullet proof pants?

If you pamper a cow do you get spoiled milk?

Why do dollar stores feel the need to advertise their prices?

Funny Questions - Group 2: 

How do they get deer to cross at that yellow sign?

How can a product be both new and improved?

If all you have is loose change does that mean your money is tight?

Why is love so blind but marriage such an eye opener? 

Why do they call those small candy bars ‘fun size”? Wouldn’t it be more fun to eat a large one?

If a man’s home is his castle, why is my closet filled with 70 pair of black high heels?

Can fat people really go skinny dipping?

When sheep rub up against each other, do they get static cling?

Funny Questions - Group 3:

The pizza is round, the box is square, why?

Do woodpeckers get headaches?

If feathers tickle people, why aren’t birds laughing all the time?

If Superman is so super, why does he wear his underwear outside his tights?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

When you call into customer service and hear, “This call may be recorded 

for quality control purposes,” how come the quality never improves?

Why do they have drive up windows for liquor stores when you can’t drink and drive?

Do Lipton Tea employees get coffee breaks?

Funny Questions - Group 4:

How can there be self help groups?

Why do croutons come in air tight packages, aren’t they already stale bread?

If you’re reading while on the toilet are you multitasking?

Why do drugstores make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store for their prescriptions?

Funny Questions - Group 5: 

If the truth will set you free why was I always sent to my room?

How do you know when sour cream has gone bad?

Whose the mean person that decided nose job surgery should be called rhinoplasty?

How come you have to slow down your whole life, but when you die, they let the cars 

run through red lights? What’s the hurry?

Oh, there’s a million of them. Most of them recycled, rehashed, and ridiculous, but what do you want for free? What’s even funnier are the people who attempt to answer these questions. Stay tuned for part 4 as I comb the depths of my mind... which should take less than a minute, and thanks for wasting a few moments of your life with Funny Questions About Life!

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