Thursday, April 30, 2009

Funny Questions and Funny Thoughts About Life

A few Funny Questions and Funny Thoughts about life for you to ponder.

There are many funny questions and funny thoughts about life. Some of these you may have stumbled upon, while other of these funny questions may be new. I have attempted to compile 
the funny questions I personally like in this blog. If any of these funny questions and funny thoughts get you scratching your head, I've done my job. Ready? Here goes:

Funny Questions and Funny Thoughts - Number One:
If you put Miracle Whip on Wonder Bread must you also use Heavenly Ham?
Why does Hawaiian pizza have Canadian bacon on it?
What is fancy ketchup and how different is it from regular ketchup?
Do Dutch people ever split the bill?
Grape Nuts cereal. No grapes, no nuts. What's up with that?

Funny Question and Funny Thoughts - Number Two:
Can a pig pull a hamstring?
Do sheep ever get static cling?
If a cow could laugh would milk come out of its nose?
If you pampered a cow would you get spoiled milk?
Do fish get cramps after eating?

Funny Questions and Funny Thoughts - Number Three:
Why don't they make bullet proof pants?
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
Is there ever a day when oriental rugs stores are not going out of business?

Funny Questions and Funny Thoughts - Number Four:
If one match can start a forrest fire, why does it take me a whole box and two cans of lighter fluid to start my grill?
What do they pack those styrofoam peanuts in for shipping?
What's the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?

Funny Questions and Funny Thoughts - Number Five:
Allstate Insurance says its not available in all states. Huh?
Donkey Kong involves a monkey. So why is isn't it called Monkey Kong?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
How cruel is it that there's an "S" in the word lisp?

Funny Questions and Funny Thoughts - Number Six:
Why aren't all psychics wealthy? (lottery, stock market, etc.)
How do you remove a club soda stain?
Have you ever seen a Jolly Rancher?
The next time someone says they've seen everything ask them,
have you ever seen a UPS truck parked in a parking space?

Funny Questions and Funny Thoughts - Number Seven:
If laughter is the best medicine, where did the phrase, "I died laughing" come from?
Can you really direct the flow of a bowling ball by waving your hands while it's in play?
If there are senior citizens how come there aren't junior citizens?
Has anyone ever been fooled by a comb-over?

Funny Questions and Funny Thoughts - Number Eight:
Why do doctors leave the room when you change if they've already seen you naked?
Why do we choose only two people to run for President but fifty to run for Miss America?
What do butterflies get in their stomachs when they're nervous?
Why do they nail down the lid of a coffin?

Funny Questions and Funny Thoughts - Number Nine:
Why is it called lipstick if it always comes off?
Why is the word abbreviation such a long word?
How do they put price stickers on non-stick pans?
Why do they sing, "Take me out to the ball game" if they're already there? 

Sure, these are just a few Funny Questions and Funny Thoughts about life. There 
are tons more funny questions out there and every once in a while I stumble upon a funny question of my own during the day. You know, one of those moments where you stop and say to yourself something like, Why does the shampoo bottle say rinse lather and repeat? Do they think we missed our heads the first time? When it comes to funny questions, the sky is the limit. And speaking of the sky, why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Okay, you get the idea. 
If you know of any funny questions and funny thoughts about life, feel free to share them on this blog. And thanks for wasting a few minutes of your time reading about my funny questions and funny thoughts about life. Now go do something worthwhile. Like figuring out what people in China call their good plates. Okay - I promise that's the last funny question in this blog. 
Seriously. Quit reading. This act is over. All right, if you insist, look for Funny Questions About Life - Part 2 in this blog.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Funny Questions About Life - Part 2

Back by popular demand, and because if I watch one more reality show I’m going to combust, I bring you, More funny questions About Life. Yes, it’s time once again to pretend you’re working while reading these idiotic, questions that have virtually no purpose or redeeming value what so ever. The good news however, is that they contain absolutely no trans fats and are loaded with vitamin B12. Ready? Here we go!

Funny - humorous - mildly amusing Questions 1

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

How do deer know to cross at that yellow deer crossing sign?

If a cow could laugh, would milk come out of it’s nose?

When French people swear, do they say, “pardon my English”?

Comical - weird - witless Questions 2

How fast do hot cakes really sell?

Why is the word abbreviation such a long word?

How much deeper would the ocean be if there were no sponges in it?

Do fish get cramps after eating? 

Ridiculous - zany - laughable Questions 3

Why do they call those small candy bars ‘fun size”? Wouldn’t it be more fun to eat a large one?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why is the slowest time of the day for traffic called rush hour?

If stocks go down any further shouldn’t they change the name from Wall Street to Wall Mart Street?

Even more funny - giggle proof - joke filled Questions 4:

Why do banks chain down the pens but keep the doors unlocked?

Pineapple. No pine, no apples. What’s up with that?

Why do drive up ATM machines have braille number pads?

If you eat pasta and then eat anti-pasta, will you still be hungry?

Wry - slapstick - side splitting Questions 5

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Why could the Mission Impossible people always solve the mission?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Zany - laughable - toungue-in-cheek  Questions 6:

Is there another word for thesaurus?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial ingredients while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why do some water bottles have ingredients listed on them?

Why do they put a post office box outside a post office if you’re already there?

Even more funny - ridiculous - nonsensical Questions 7: 

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

Who shuts the bus door when the bus driver gets off?

Why do people say they slept like a baby when babies wake up every two hours?

Why do bags of nuts have “may contain nuts” printed on them?

Now some of these you may have heard before and some may be brand new. But no matter what your opinion might be, that was about three minutes of your life you’ll never get back. Still, I hope you enjoyed Funny Questions About Life - Part 2. Look for Part Three coming to a computer screen near you. For more entertainment, please re-read, laugh, and repeat. That’s it for now. I’m not kidding. Really. Elvis has left the building. 

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

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Funny Questions and Funny Thoughts About Life

Welcome to Funny Questions and Funny Thoughts about life.  A site dedicated to those funny questions and funny thoughts in life that never seem to have answers. If you have any questions not covered in Funny Questions and Funny Thoughts About Life please feel free to email them to