Saturday, May 21, 2011

Funny Questions About Life - Part 6

For months now, people from all over the world have been asking the same questions:

Do I have enough cans of Campbell’s Chunky soup in my end-of-the-earth 12-21-12 bunker? Where can I get that beautiful orange hair color like Donald Trump has? And how can I get more daily information on Charlie Sheen? I can’t answer any of these questions, but I can give you FUNNY QUESTIONS ABOUT LIFE - Part 6!

Funny Questions - Group 1: Do fish get thirsty? If everything you say is a lie, are you telling the truth, or lying? If we’re closer to death every day of our lives, is time really on our side? Why do some products state, “Not recommended for children over 12 years of age” - aren’t people over 12 years of age not children?

Funny Questions - Group 2: Why is Greenland made of ice and Iceland made of green grass? Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected? How come wrong numbers are never busy? If all the nations in the world are in debt, who’s got all the money? Why do some directions for medicine read, “Only apply to infected area” - where else would you apply it?

Funny Questions - Group 3: What color is a chameleon on a plaid shirt? Why is it when you transport something by car it’s called a shipment but when you transport by ship it’s called cargo? How come you never read about a psychic winning the lottery? Is it really necessary for the Postal Department to print the words, “Post Office will not deliver without postage” on your package?

Funny Questions - Group 4: Why do they call the airport a terminal if flying is supposed to be safe? Why is bra singular and panties plural? Why is the man who handles all your money called a broker? Why isn’t the word, phonetic - spelled the way it sounds? Did Adam and Eve have navels? Does anyone ever vanish with a trace?

Funny Questions - Group 5: Why are those “easy open” food packages never easy to open? How come when socks come out of the dryer, there’s only one of each? Why do gas stations advertise their prices with a 9/10 at the end - does that really help sell more gas? Why do restaurants offer appetizers - don’t you already have an appetite if you’re there? What happened to the other 56 varieties of Heinz 57 sauce? Why do some moist towelette packages come with instructions that read, “Open package and use” - what else would you do with them?

Funny Questions - Group 6: Why do some people feel the need to say, “Know what I’m saying?” after everything they say? How did James Bond know if his martini was shaken and not stirred? Why do people who sing the loudest tend to be the ones who are the most off key? Why do shampoo instructions read, “Rinse and repeat” - do they think we missed our head the first time? If one person is a size 52 and the other is a size 2 can one size really fit all?

And there it is. Funny Questions About Life - part 6. Of course feel free to reminisce with parts 1 through 5 and in the meantime I’ll scour the earth for more Funny Questions About Life for your entertainment pleasure. Disclaimer: Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Not intended for off-road use. Avoid contact with skin. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle. Batteries not included. Your mileage may vary.