Funny Questions About Life - Part 5 Here comes the ultimate list of the funniest questions about life. I know, it’s hard to believe that I could actually come up with even more high quality, pithy, unanswerable funny questions while still maintaining the low standards of writing you’ve come to expect, but hey, it’s a living. Well actually, it’s not a living. It’s just one of those things I do to keep people all over the world like yourself amused for at least three minutes or more. Are you ready? Let’s do this!
Funny Questions - Group 1: If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2? How do you get off a non-stop flight? If love is blind, why is marriage such an eye opener? Do fish get cramps after eating? How can something be new and improved? When standing in line at the bank, fast food, or ticket line, why do people create two feet of imaginary space between themselves and the person being waited on?
Funny Questions - Cluster 2: Does virgin wool come from ugly sheep? Why do you get a ticket for wreck-less driving? Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”? Who was the first person to eat an oyster? Cottage cheese? Sour cream? If you jogged backwards, would you gain weight?
Funny Questions - Montage 3: How can you have a civil war? If builders don’t like building a 13th floor, why don’t authors skip chapter eleven? Why is it that your flashlight is really just a place to hold dead batteries? Why is cargo sent by ships and shipments sent by cars? During a flight, why do people treat those little one ounce pretzel packets like they're something really special?
Funny Questions - Compendium 4: Why do banks charge a non-sufficient funds fee when they already know there’s not enough money in your account? Why don’t people say, “It’s Only A Game” when they’re winning? If the bride is pregnant, should you throw puffed rice? Why is the Department of Interior responsible for everything outdoors? Why do we turn down the car radio when searching for our destination?
Funny Questions - Bundle 5: Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one? When two planes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? After using a public bathroom shouldn’t that wimpy air hand dryer’s last instruction read, “Wipe hands on pants”? Why don’t they give you a knife in Chinese restaurants? Why do people order a diet coke with their ten thousand calorie, super sized, fast food meal?
Funny Questions - Package 6: If you get an honorary degree from a college, does it entitle you to get an honorary job? Why do most “reality” TV shows have absolutely nothing to do with reality? Why do some movie previews feel the need to show you almost the entire movie? Is it me, or does all Mexican food seem to be the same, just folded differently? Why are you always the only one in your house that knows how to put a new toilet paper roll on the holder?
Funny Questions - Capsule 7: Are orthodox Jews automatically immune to the swine flu? How come it only rains on the days you’ve scheduled an outside activity? Why when men get older, do they lose hair on their heads but grow more out of their ears and nose? Why do people put the milk carton back in the fridge when there’s only a teaspoon of milk left in it? Why do people who don’t like fruit display artificial fruit all through their house? Why do two pound bags of uncooked popcorn cost about two bucks in the grocery store while a handful of popcorn costs seven bucks at the movie theatre?
And there you have it. All the remaining funny questions of life. Just kidding. I'm sure more will be popping up soon, just like mushrooms after the rain. Some funny, some mildly humorous, and some just down right harmful if swallowed. So please feel free to reminisce down memory lane with parts 1 through 4 and when the mood hits me right between the eyes, I’ll post even more funny questions of life!
